nothing matters when I’m sleeping

blurred memories of a recent dream. somewhere in the city in the afternoon. passing someone I once held and loved without saying a word. I used to mean something to them. they showed me with more than just words. now they can’t look at me in a dream.

I took myself on the train to a market. I was meant to visit with a friend last week but couldn’t make time. dozens of racks of second hand clothes. five shirts with the same print: ‘fast fashion will kill the planet’. six shirts with bold letters reading ‘fully vaxxed’.

walking home from dinner with a friend I saw a ghost across the road. I feel small again. jarring to witness beyond the confines of my insecurities. we occupy the same spaces sometimes. it means nothing in the scheme of things. a thought or a feeling in the face of the burning hill. I’ll turn off the light and soon forget. nothing matters when I’m sleeping.