unfinished in the library

my brain is not my friend again. we’re both fed up with one another, close encounters in such close quarters for too long. I leave thoughts unfinished in the library to lie under a tree.

when I close my eyes I could be sleeping. when I sleep I’m only fractured dreams from waking up.

no standing sign

the supermarket swarms a little after dinner time. I tie my bike to the pole with the no standing sign. pigeons mind their own business on the sidewalk, a couple dozen or maybe more. someone thought to leave them a bowl of water, though they don't seem to care. I watch them peck the ground and under their wings. I wonder what I'd do in their place. they take to the sky and I take out my phone. 

rolling over

I stop and hold the boulder for the other ones to pass. sidestepping or rolling over? out of sight and focus either way. I let the other cyclists overtake, watch them speed through amber lights into the setting sun.

you call a little later from a room on the street I used to live. something else to miss and help commiserate my choices. I take you to the creek and let the stream surround your voice. time is water only ever passing out of reach. 

echoes

tides take time but everything returns. the cat comes back to bed. my thoughts come back to you. are we only ever always on our way home? waves with dreams torn from seas now rolling back to sleep. can we hope for more than echoes? I can’t hear much more right now.

coughing

clocks keep coughing up days and demands I can’t meet. clouds cry and I need to wake up.

tea and doubt and fear

we wait for my brain to start working again. patience wanes a little more with every thought. I move slowly between tasks and expectations, slipping back into a childhood haunt to hide behind. outside the clouds keep moving with the headlines I don’t read. time spoils in cups of tea and doubt and fear. I think about regret and lose another day in limbo. I brush my teeth and hope for dreams of being someone else.

compost

I watch my taxes explode into the sky

different colours

golden rain that sings

beautiful and brighter than the stars

the people cheer for time’s passage out of every open window

holding hands

crying for more

I decompose slowly

and take a photo with my phone.