at work I live in the screen and follow through on promises and tasks, many conceived and completed without ever manifesting in spoken words. sometimes I make the grade and earn smiles and thanks. other times tasks are delegated elsewhere and I am left wondering what more I could have done, though it's never personal and, were this not the case, I doubt I'd really mind. I press the keys and type the minutes and smile at the right times. I am lucky to live in the safe and calm stability of employment. my parents ask about work and I remind myself that my desk-bound days go somewhere. the work stands for something. by association I guess I can say the same for me.
my parents called me from a car. they were driving through Corsica with a friend who lived in our house for half a year. we studied together past midnight most nights. I listen to the music that underscored our evenings and I miss what was once the normal I took for granted. during lockdown I'd drive to the shops with my brother at night. braving the cold and empty aisles for chocolate alone. the everyday means little in present tense. walking through the rain down the hill into TESCO. walking each other to the end of aimless errands just to escape our own reflections. precious and sacred and not so long ago. time makes monuments wherever I've been. I can only look back and smile.
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