no sense

feeling strange today. new year’s eve has always been hard, though I can’t quite figure out why. for me the day comes with an expectation that things should feel resolved, though this is never the case. tomorrow is another day, though our calendars treat it as a new year altogether. the pressure we put on these days to mean something overwhelms me. I’m left feeling a little lost.

I hope you’ve found some joy in this year. I know it’s been strange for everyone. the thought that tomorrow everything will change and it’ll be as though this year never happened taunts me. I know it’s impossible and still I entertain the idea that this can be undone. maybe it’ll get easier and make more sense soon. maybe next year will be better. I hope it is for you. << x