Thursday, December 14, 2023

where I am

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=10XvJS8Peef9K-g0jqRFYRuy_dwFFh4bE
the heat is an unwanted blanket. it spoils sleep and tangles me up in ways that keep me from doing what might be good for me. Pia’s company has been a godsend, and I’m lucky to have had her around to keep me on the sounder side of sanity. she leaves tomorrow, as Fieke arrives, and it’s only when I check the date on my phone that I realise we’re as close as we are to the days I dread.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1-VznXxr5oyD4FTW9J1eROHoWLFbGR_WP
in the all consuming distractions of the perpetual presence of a friend and the phone in my pocket I forget where I am. days can pass without thinking consciously about the path I’m forging, the decisions I’m making, how I really feel about the space I occupy. I find solace in escaping myself. there is peace in being far from where I really am.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1MTmenhUzNSbtYtPbblpclpzTKW4o79nQ
I count the good things always: a roof and a bed, people to miss, dear friends to hold, new friends to make, a home and a heart. there is always good to come. <<

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