Sunday, December 10, 2023

heavier

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1aTuR4gPk3CB9gFq3tPatPJUD4k7RTBpt
summer has arrived. the heat makes every moment seem a little heavier. movements are slower with the weight, through both day and night. it’s only going to get warmer as we roll closer to the new year. thoughts are fuzzier and the anticipation for the sweet relief of sleep only builds.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1yb75x2WGJ5_XzR0poJCc7N_lYgftxaJT
sleep and breath are the constants linking one day into the next. I call each member of my family one by one in no order in particular. I tell them I miss them, though the gesture of calling speaks for itself. at the Palestine rally I heard children chanting and thought of what we’re capable of doing to one another and the power of greed and fear. I cried in the crowd, disgusted by the human project in which I have no choice but to participate.
https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1LVgSnVIC4O_GdhdySfp-aaAgPvgN66n8
I walked to buy groceries in the evening for a moment of normalcy. everything costs more now. I need to make a plan for how I’ll manage this come the new year. it’s not really something that excites me, though I know I need to move through all this for the sake of those who love me. December has become some sort of an emotional gauntlet I can only navigate with the patience and love of those I trust. one day at a time. I sleep and wake and start again. <<

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