I’m sobering to the realisation that I dread my own company. every day I do my best to fill each moment with noise - distractions and people to keep my mind busy and far from itself. when I stop and am left to sit in the silence the wheels start to fall off. this is something I need to work on, but the task seems a little much to face all at once. I need to srop running if I’m to grow and keep going.
I sleep in the afternoons now. this isn’t something I take pride in, but I remind myself it’s important to listen to my body and what it needs. I’m not sleeping enough, and these naps - however unwanted - do their bit in keeping me balanced. I slip in and out of dreams, some of which grace me with the company of people I love. I wake and miss them more than I would’ve otherwise.
Bip and I woke early and ran together yesterday. we went to coffee after and updated each other on where we’re at. I feel listened to and loved by her. time between seeing each other does little to these friendships. the precious ones. counting these blessings as I navigate every tomorrow and prolong decisions that pave the path to wherever it is this is going.
Orpheus lingers. no thoughts, all feelings. <<
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