new toothbrush

mum bought me a new toothbrush from the supermarket. I came home tonight and someone had thrown out my old one. it really shouldn’t matter, but that old toothbrush was the same one I’d used in Lewes, bought there about a month before returning home. maybe it’s disgusting that I was still using it. regardless of how I should judge myself for caring about the toothbrush, it feels strange to use the new one, almost like a betrayal of the past. so much of it stills sits with me, heavy on my mind like too much rain all at once. the toothbrush linked me back to that place and that time that I miss so much. it’s probably for the best that it’s gone. but I still mourn my loss as the new toothbrush greets my teeth unworn. I never thought it possible to feel so out of control of my own story. the pages turn and I fall through them. << x