on the train I talk with a friend about learning to live in a way that makes sense if not meaning. a glass half full has replaced the weight on his shoulders that once bound him to silence and distance from those of us who worried. he speaks about tomorrow and there always being something more to try and I admire that he can see what I haven’t in a while now. his company is precious and I savour the chance to be passing time with somebody I love. there is a lightness in the way he holds himself. I hear it in his voice and see how it carries in the way he looks out through the window at the clouds and lakes and towns he’s never seen. we talk about holding ourselves back and the privilege of being our own biggest obstructions in a world so spent and broken. with time and trying he has learnt to love himself. I ask him how and he suggests we have a lot in common with ourselves and it shouldn’t be so hard. in theory I agree and there’s nothing here to argue so I listen and try to learn.
my eyes are heavy and I surrender another day of time with nothing to show for who and where I’ve been. I forget about my dreams until they’re all I am and know.
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