only neutral

we talk about radical acceptance / embracing the absurd / the unconditional positive regard. I want to understand and ask for help. the nurse clears the fog opens windows lets the light in. she's not a therapist but should be. radical acceptance: 'it is what is it is' but a little less passive ('what can we do about it?'). whatever reality / truth we face cannot be changed without acceptance. fact does not need forgiveness but acknowledgement to flow. truths can contradict and sit at the same table without spilling each other's guts.

the nurse gives us directions for play. first I must ask what I'm accepting and how it is has changed me. only then can I consider what can be done about the reality I don't want. truth awaits approval and will not shift without it. the words make sense but practice mutates madness far beyond the bounds of ink on paper. tentacles tighten home around the frontal lobe. I am asked to meet myself where I am / leave struggle and resistance at the door. with clear direction I still can't seem to give them up.

we're reminded on the cheat sheet happiness is just another signal. beware the chase that never ends. everything of value is to be mined from some transaction. our natural state is soft is less. only neutral ever lasts.