still here

some progress. some tears. I try to remember how to do things that once came easy. leaning every day on people I love. Mum bought me a book to record what I’m grateful for each day. I run through the park and get away from myself for a little while. sometimes I eat a lot of chocolate. I try to stay in touch with friends and not miss those I can’t see too much. sometimes I try to draw. I’ve been home and back. I go places every night in my dreams. familiar faces all the time. different lives. adventures that never were but always feel real enough for a moment. sometimes I wish they’d last.

still here. still incapable of pulling words to really capture what it is I feel about waking each day to more. trying.

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