foggy morning

foggy morning. went for a run through Amstelveen, before calling my family. Zi has just arrived home, and it’s nice to see them all in the same room again. I called Blake on my adventure into the city to find last minute gifts for Sinterklaas tomoffow. tried a fresh stroop waffle from the market (it tasted wonderful). dinner with Fieke and Sophie, her cousin and best friend - a feast of Indian takeaways. tea with Fred and Fieke before bed. tired and ready to sleep. a good day. <<

a funny way to be

another quiet day. after sleeping in, Fieke and I walked to the shopping centre in Amstelveen to buy some Christmas gifts. we snacked on pepernoten in the afternoon until her parents returned from their weekend away. lovely to see them again and hear their stories of their time away.

I caught up with Emma for dinner. she drove all the way from Utrecht to see me. we caught up over pho and lemon iced tea, updating each other on what happened since our day together with Joel and Fieke in October. I showed her photos of the trip to Lewes, answering her questions about how everyone was travelling, what it was like to go back, how it felt … we enjoyed hot chocolates after dinner, talking about the future and when we might meet again.

we hugged goodbye in the foggy street. she drove away and I found it funny just how quickly we’d slipped in and out of each other’s lives again. Emma was like an older sister to me during our time in Lewes. her care for me has hardly changed - if anything, it seems to have grown with the time and distance between us. I count myself so very lucky to have found her and to know her friendship, and I just wish the distance wasn’t so great.

tea and Norwegian chocolate with the Tuinders before bed. it’s all feeling real now - the end drawing closer. thinking lots of my life here and the real world back home. I’ll always be missing people no matter where I am. what a funny way to be. <<

Viennese delights

for the archives: highlights of Schiele and Klimt from my day in Vienna.

my favourite of the day, ‘the lyricist’.

Pia absolutely serving.

‘death and life’.

‘the kiss’.

in awe. <<

a day without trains

a day without trains, absolute bliss. after a long sleep most of the day was spent walking. on the phone to Zi I ventured into the city, catching each other up on what’s been on our minds. I’ve missed him a lot, and can’t wait to spend time with him over summer. he’s finished exams now, and I’m hoping this means some time for rest is on his horizon.

I spent the evening drawing and cooking dinner. Fieke arrived at 9:30, and we ate together: pesto pasta with halloumi, just like old times. I’d missed her and we’d only been apart for three weeks. we drank tea and listened to music enjoyed the warmth of the lounge before venturing upstairs.

happy to be back in the Netherlands. I really like this country, and hope that my future involves coming back at some point. <<

Vienna to Amsterdam

big train day. Pia dropped me at the station at 10:30. we hugged goodbye and I’ve been on my way to Fieke’s place since. one train and tram until I’m there. spent time journaling and trying to sleep, thinking about where I’ve been and the uncertainty of where I’m going. excited to be back in a home I know. <<

Vienna

a big day. left the house early for the train into the city, visiting the Leopold Gallery. one of the best art spots I’ve come across this trip. enjoyed seeing Klimt’s ‘death and life’ up close, though the highlight of the museum was seeing such a vast collection of work by Egon Schiele. his paintings will be on my mind for a while. admiring his visions and curious depictions of the human form makes me want to make art again. a wonderful way to spend the morning.

Pia met me outside the gallery, and we wandered the city for a while, stopping for snacks on a bench by the votive church in the city centre. we spent our afternoon in the Belvedere Palace - more art, including additional pieces from Schiele and Klimt. ‘the kiss’ was a pleasant surprise - surpassing expectations in opposition to the way the Mona Lisa sort of lets you down.

as the sun went down we made our way to Prater, where Pia convinced me to join her on one of those terrifying thrill rides that sends you eighty metres high for a view of the city before dropping you so fast you feel as though your heart might leap out of your body. we enjoyed a hearty schnitzel and salad for dinner before heading home, where we laughed and chatted over chocolate and Austrian beer until late.

I’ve been lucky to have found such a caring friend in Pia, and I really hope we stay in touch. so little time to spend with such a precious person and what seems to be a beautiful city. I’ve promised myself I’ll return someday. <<

Würzburg to Vienna

tired today. Jan and I were up laughing til late. it’s pretty funny that we got to a point at which seeing each other and spending time felt normal, as though we don’t live a world apart and have an inevitable handful of years between our paths crossing again. he really is the best of the best, and I count myself so lucky to have spent this time with him.

the train was crowded. I listened to music and started reading the book Bipasha bought me when I left. by 5pm I arrived at the station, where I was greeted by Paula who commuted with me back to her place in the outskirts of the city. Pia had prepared a delicious meal for us. we drank wine and shared Norwegian chocolate, laughing lots and updated each other on what had happened since we’d last seen each other in Milan.

once more I’m in the company of friends I might never have met were it not for sheer luck. they’ve invited me into their home, and will spend time showing me around the city tomorrow. I’ll visit some galleries and see the town Nash has been talking about for years. unsure what I did to deserve all of this. trying to treasure it all. <<

Copenhagen to Würzburg

early morning train to Hamburg, then on towards Würzburg, arriving at Jan’s by 5:30ish. big train day. journalled in the morning, dozed in the afternoon. 

Jan took me out to the vegan place with the bossy waiter we’d been joking about (the waiter hadn’t let us eat there last time). the food was delicious. we’ve just spent the past six hours laughing and chatting over tea and Norwegian chocolate at the kitchen table. this evening was hardly planned - super spontaneous - and I just feel very lucky to be here. it’s been a lovely night. <<

Mette and Netto

most of my final day in Copenhagen has been spent with Mette, a friend mum and dad made during their time backpacking around Europe in 1992. very generously Mette showed me around the city, telling me about her life and how she came to grow so fond of my parents three decades ago during a trip to Greece.

we stopped for a chai in Christiana. when I asked if Mette if she wanted to facetime my parents, she became emotional at the thought, having not seen them in real time for so long. I thought of how I would feel had I met the child of Eliu or Jan without having spoken to them in forever, and I empathised.

in the afternoon Mette returned home to watch the soccer. I spent this time to visit galleries - one contemporary and another more traditional.

the highlight of the contemporary gallery.

‘memory’, just haunting.

Picasso.

Danish scenes.

Van Gough.

Monet.

I spent the evening with Mette and her family. we looked at photo albums of her time with my parents. it was a really special evening, and gives me hope for the friendships I share with those I love living so far from me. Mette met my parents on a boat in Greece. she was telling me just how easily they might never have spoken. a scary and remarkable thought.

Netto run to buy snacks for the train ride tomorrow. time to pack my bag - an early start. <<

the little mermaid

it’s cold here, and though I packed for winter I feel as though I didn’t anticipate just how cold November can be in Scandinavia. I walked out to the little mermaid today - a statue my parents told me about years ago - calling Blake as I ventured through the cold. wandered my way through some pretty gardens. the sun set before 4pm today, so I spent some time planning the next few days. an evening walk through the city (equipped with extra layers, having learned from the chill last night). snowflakes falling gently. freezing and beautiful all at once.

gallery day tomorrow. missing Isaiah tonight. excited to be with him and our family over Christmas. <<

Bergen to Copenhagen

travel day. after breakfast with Ingfrid I said goodbye to Emily and Miss Lily and their beautiful home. Ingfrid gave me a card, and I left one for her on my bedside table. she drove me to the airport, and I made it to Copenhagen without my passport being checked at all. journalled at the departure gate, slept on the plane.

after checking in to my hostel I went for a wander, but it’s freezing here - so I’ll have to think of new ways to spend my evenings. I’ll miss my night walks.

I know nothing about this city, so I’ll do some research tonight and find something to do tomorrow. maybe there’s some art for me to see. lucky to be warm in my room tonight. <<

Ingfrid

a day with Ingfrid. late morning breakfast together with toast and cheeses, calling mum and dad to say hello. Ingfrid drove us into town where we visited the gingerbread town before wandering the lanes by the docks, windowshopping our way through art stores with walls full of gorgeous prints and paintings. cinnamon scrolls for a snack - just like the ones Ingfrid would make for us back in Tasmania when we were kids.

we returned home as the sun was setting and prepared an early dinner, which we enjoyed with Emily. Ingfrid lit us a fire. when Tomas arrived, Ingrid leant me her jacket and the three of us ventured into the cold for a walk. the air was icey, but we soldiered on around the lake, picking up cream from the shops for our hot chocolates.

I laughed a lot with Ingfrid today. as well as a role model and guardian of sorts, she has become a dear friend to me, and I will really miss spending time with her. the example she sets of total humility and generosity challenges me deeply, and I hope that I can be more like her as I move into wherever this next chapter of my life is heading.

leaving tomorrow for Denmark in the afternoon. sad to go, but grateful to have had the chance to be one of the Fonns again. <<

Bergen etc.

took a trip with Emily into the city today. we spent a couple of hours at the natural history museum before meeting Tomas (her boyfriend) and buying groceries for dinner. back home we cooked for Maria and Adrian, and had a fun time revisiting photo albums Ingfrid had made during their time living in Tasmania.

Ingfrid came home late after spending the evening with her father. we chatted about our families among other things. she listens intently and I feel as though she really cares about me. I treasure her company.

on Sunday afternoon I’ll be leaving Bergen for Copenhagen. the time here has really flown, and it’s odd to think how long it might be until I can see Ingfrid again. having so many people to miss is a blessing and I need to remember this. <<

Miss Lily

lots of walking today. after calling Blake and organising a little more of my itinerary, I took myself for a walk around the neighbourhood. streams had frozen over in the cold, and the sun was already making its slow descent by 2:30. bussing into town, I met Maria. we shopped for groceries and walked up the hill to her flat, where we made tacos with her boyfriend Adrian. the view of the city was stunning, and it was funny to see Maria existing as an adult independent of her mother, cooking and showing me around her own home.

I walked home, admiring the lights of the city and stopping to buy some of my favourite Norwegian milk chocolate on the way. hot chocolates with Emily watching netflix nonsense on the couch. Miss Lily (the cat) purred by my side, snoring happily as we laughed. Ingfrid arrived home around 10, and we stayed up chatting and laughing until we realised it was well past when we should have been in bed.

I treasure my time here. it feels like home and I only wish it wasn’t so far from where I spend most of my time. so much for me to miss. <<

Fonn house

I arrived in Bergen to a welcome party of three: Ingfrid, Maria and Emily holding a sign bearing my name - Daniel Fonn. big hugs and excitement in the freezing cold (and it’s not even winter yet!) a warm welcome despite the chill, a joy to be reunited with my Norwegian family.

I slept in this morning, relishing a room to myself after nearly a month straight in hostel dorms. Emily and I spent the day together wandering through Bergen, updating each other on our lives and talking about what’s been on our minds. I dabbled in some of my favourite foods from last time, sharing a block of Norwegian milk chocolate with Emily and enjoying some brown cheese on toast for lunch.

for dinner we met Ingfrid and Maria in town at a Japanese place, where we tucked in to a buffet of sushi and other goodies. an absolute treat! back home Maria and I chatted about the latest in our lives, planning what she wanted to show me during my stay here and what I’d like to show her when she visits us over the summer.

I stayed up chatting to Ingfrid before bed. there is a humility to this person that cannot be rivalled, and I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to my parents for bringing someone so kind and authentic into my life. Ingfrid opens her home and family to me, and her care for me makes me feel a little more grounded, as though it is okay for me to not know where it is I’m going.

I feel held and supported here, regardless of my lack of direction. it’s a privilege for me to witness such kindness. <<

London to Bergen

and so I leave this funny place. a lot of ghosts here, many of whom are happy memories. it’s been strange to be back: cathartic, surreal, confusing … it’s a privilege for me to revisit a place that has given so much to me. strange feelings. I leave England with the same uncertainty with which I arrived - unsure of where I’m going and who I am. excited to see the Fonn’s in Norway. <<

the good day

Joel and I decided last night that our last full day together would be the good day. I think a combination of our yucky hostel and missing our friends had worn our spirits down, and the idea of making at least one final day a happy one was a nice thing to hope for. after a run through the fog this morning, I met Joel for breakfast downstairs in the cramped kitchen. leaving the hostel, we caught the bus into the city, scoring the front row of the upper deck, with a perfect view of the road ahead - the start of a good day.

after video calling mum and spending some time with Sunny, we made our way along the Thames to the TATE modern, where we spent a couple of hours wandering. Joel enjoyed seeing some Picasso and Dali, and by the time we left the building speckles of blue were emerging through the grey skies. our trip to the closest TESCO express was a success - with both of our respective meal deal options instock despite being prime time for lunch. we enjoyed our feast by the water, accompanied by a lady feeding swans along the bank below, and a man making bubbles that danced on the wind in our direction.

the good day only got better in the afternoon - we met up with Alec and his partner Lucy for coffee near the borough markets, where we spoke and laughed for hours til the sun had well and truly disappeared. after our goodbyes, Joel and I ventured across the river in search of dinner, eventually treating ourselves to a warm meal (minestrone soup and a halloumi wrap)

in our park by the hostel we snacked on chocolate and chips from TESCO, visited once more by our friend the fox. a good day. we laughed about how we’d managed to pull it off. I’m going to miss Joel. being with him gives me permission to be a kid again, which means a lot to me.

the UK has once again been a wild ride of emotions for me. strange to be leaving again without ever knowing when I’ll be back. I remind myself how lucky I have been to have felt so much here. this place will always matter to me. <<

Elise

after a polarising excuse for a night’s sleep, I showered and waited to meet Joel out at the park down the lane from our hostel. Blake and I called briefly, before Joel surprised me behind my back. together we ventured by overground and tube to Stratford, where we met the best friend of his soon to be sister in law, with whom Joel had left his big bag during his trip to Belgium. we collected the bag and chatted about the wedding - Joel’s brother only proposed this weekend, but hopes to be married before the end of next year.

Joel and I wandered for a bit, exploring the empty expanse of what was once the focal point of the globe during the London 2012 Olympic celebrations. we parted ways - Joel made his way back home, whilst I took the tube to Liverpool street to meet Elise.

Elise has been on exchange at the Royal College of Music since September, and seems to have settled into the city well. she greeted me with a big hug before leading the way to brick lane, where we enjoyed some street food at a local market and caught up on all we’d missed of each other’s lives. we spoke about friends we missed, things we like and not like so much about the UK… I felt really proud to see how she has managed to make London work for her. a lovely afternoon with a friend I’ve missed.

I walked halfway home before giving in and catching the bus when the sun went down, meeting Joel in the park and walking together for a cheap eat. a couple hours spent in Joel’s hostel room, meeting his roommates and laughing about silly things. 

two more days in the UK. nearly a week since we bid Lewes farewell - it still feels as though it could have been a dream. <<

London (still)

moving day. waiting in the lounge of the hostel I was leaving this morning saw me crossing paths with a Melbourne boy and Brazilian girl - both of whom asked for my help charging their phones. boy had been travelling since August, and has come to London hoping to find work. girl is studying in Dublin and hoping to improve her english - we spent an hour back and forth on google translate. I introduced Ben (the boy) to TESCO meal deals, which he was pretty happy about. a wholesome morning I hadn’t expected.

I caught the bus to New Cross where I waited in a park before checking in to my final hostel in the evening. I walked through the dark, exploring the neighbourhood as I waited for Joel’s return. it was a joy to reunit. we feasted on our meal deals in the park, debriefing and laughing and catching each other up on what we’d missed.

tired. hoping for some quiet days with Joel before we say goodbye for real. another hostel with character - a little odd, but safe and good enough. missing my brothers today. <<

gallery day

a gentle day. after calling mum and dad in the morning, I ventured out across the Thames to TATE Britain. some lovely paintings and sculptures.

linked up with Hobart friend Jack Lark for a walk through Soho in the afternoon, before visiting the National Gallery in the evening, revisiting some old favourites.

and that’s it. pretty quiet today. moving again tomorrow - though in the evening I’ll be joined at the new hostel by Joel, who’s returning from Belgium to spend our final few days in London together. tired without having done much more than walking for days. reminding myself how lucky I am to be here. <<

Alec and Ciara

less lonely in London today, reuniting with dear friends I’ve not seen in far too long.

Alec moved to the big smoke from Australia back in August, since which he and his partner have been working and housesitting across the city. seeing him after so long was a real treat - he has not changed, though it seems we’re more comfortable now to be talking about real things that might’ve been a little scarier when we were younger. he seems happy here, and I’m proud of him for making the move. another friendship for which I should be very grateful.

after navigating a chaotic public transport system in the midst of industrial action I met Ciara in Camden for dinner. the last time I’d seen Ciara had been extremely messy, with me spending a good deal of time crying in her room up in Durham. it was rejuvenating to be with her again, laughing about the ridiculousness of getting older and responsibilities and expectations. Ciara moved to London at the start of the year, and has been working for a law firm since - despite which, she has not lost her sense of humour or fun. she was there for me at a very strange point in my life, and it means a lot that she still wants to invest in our friendship.

we say goodbye and don’t know when we’ll see each other again. it’s a process I’m getting quite good at these days. I count myself lucky to have so many precious people to miss.

a good day. <<

Peter Pan

I arrived in London by 9pm last night, at which point I wanted to journal. looking all over, I had no luck finding places with desks at which I could write. I listened to music as I crossed the Thames, thinking of the week that has been. I ventured back out today, spending a couple of hours journaling in a Costa before walking out to Kensington Gardens.

the Peter Pan statue made me think of my brothers. I would like to be like Peter Pan right now - I don’t ever want to grow up.

I had dinner with Sam and Rachel, friends I made working on Timepieces (the play I performed in during my exchange semester). both are doing well, enjoying their busy corporate jobs whilst finding the time to stay creative. three years to the day since we closed the show. time flies.

feeling quite lost right now, a very strange limbo. the future is so unclear and I don’t know what I’m really supposed to be doing at this point. moving gently. <<

goodbyes

I made the walk to Brighton station for the first goodbyes of the day: Joel, who I’ll be reuniting with in London this weekend, and Nash, with whom I have shared so much of my missing and now aimless dwelling in Lewes. these friends are very precious to me, and it saddens me to have our time together come to a close. Nash is such an important friend to me, and I wish I could keep him close forever.

after checking out of our hostels, Alex, Jan and I met for breakfast in the lanes. I enjoyed some pancakes, calling Blake briefly so he could meet some of my friends. our day was spent running in and out of the rain, exploring parts of the city we’d never thought to during our life here. we laughed about our trip, and recounted pleasant surprises and highlights. Jan asked how we’d go about redesigning the White Hart in Lewes if we had the money. I think we could do a pretty good job, and he agrees we’d have a fun time making it happen. we found a park and sat on the swings, only to realise the place used to be a cemetary. an infographic sign on ‘the cycle of life’ for plants made me think of the inevitable sense of loss and aimlessness upon leaving my friends. cruel in a funny way.

we bid Alex farewell at the station. I’d not spent that much time with him until Paris - he was Joel’s good friend back in Lewes - but I feel very lucky to have had the space to let our friendship grow. a really wonderful person with an authentic perspective on the necessity of chasing joy.

Jan and I spent a lot of time chatting today. he’s a dear friend, and it’s reassuring to me that after all of this time - and seeing me at some of my lowest points - he still plans to keep me in his life. as always, I’ll miss his company and care. he told me he feels as though our friendship has strengthened, and I hope that we can keep it up. I feel seen by Jan in ways I don’t by most other people, which is sometimes scary but always reassuring. on the bus to London as I type, it feels too soon to talk of missing and wishing our worlds were closer - yet this is how I feel. I’m grateful to know his kindness and I’ll not ever forget it.

a surreal week of my life. my heart is in a strange state - full of gratitude and somewhat empty, so many emotions and treasures revisited and vanishing so quickly. lucky to have so much to miss. the future seems worlds away in my head right now. I’ll try to move gently. <<

Lewes by day

early morning rise to bid Nadia farewell. I walked her to the bus in my pyjamas. heading back to Canada - she’ll be back at work tomorrow. I worry I mightn’t see her again. another farewell a couple hours later - Lukas on the doorstep of the hostel, just like in London the day after we left Lewes last time. strange parallels. we hugged Mat goodbye shortly after before catching the bus in to Lewes.

with how often we’d been into the village throughout our trip, it was strange to think we hadn’t yet seen our old home in daylight. nostalgia flowed through us as we wandered the lanes and paths connecting the landmarks with which we bestowed a great deal of emotional significance.

we walked to the hill for a view of the town, Nash documenting our journey religiously on his camera. 

I walked to the priory with Alex, who had not been before. fond memories here, and a real privilege to see the ruins through new eyes.

the village is haunted but the ghosts aren’t unkind.

and the stream keeps growing. so much more to be taken away.

beloved TESCO.

our old home, a haunted house.

the tunnel.

pizza dinner in Lewes, followed by a final drink at Lansdown. we tried calling people who couldn’t make it. Nate picked up, as did Emma, who seemed quite sad. I think we all were by that point, realising we mightn’t ever be back, and recognising once more that the life we knew and loved will forever sit on a shelf beyond our reach.

I say goodbye to Nash tomorrow for probably years. he’s worried me today with the question of ‘what is our friendship?’ now that we’ve come back to Lewes after all this time. the question makes my heart heavy.

it’s been a beautiful day, as cathartic as it has been surreal and sobering. feeling unprepared to part ways with my friends and the place we used to share. <<