three weeks

it’s all happening very quickly at the moment. I’m trying to wrap my head around leaving and moving on from my life at stucco, from these friends. it’s very tricky, though I know I need to be ready very soon.

the virus has me cooped up for a week now. this means we’re postponing opening night. it also means I have even less time in the company of my friends here, it’s a little sad.

I’m reading, rehearsing, and going very gently. my housemates have been absolute angels so far. plenty of time for thinking and dreaming. last night I dreamt I went to yoga - which I’ve not done ever before - only to realise halfway through that I was breaking the law by leaving isolation and infecting everyone. very strange.

excited to be out. nervous for the show, and hoping I’m good enough alongside such a talented cast. three weeks left here - it’s surreal. <<

four weeks

dwelling on the fact that this chapter - my time as a student living at stucco with the friends I have found here - comes to an end in less than a month now. the joy I have found here has been immense, and has somewhat renewed me with a love for the unexpected, a reminder of the truth that regardless of where I find myself, there will always be treasure waiting for me somewhere.

trying to make the most of the time I have left here. there are so many special people I’ve found, and I don’t want to forget the time we have spent. an exciting chapter sits beyond my departure, though in the face of my final weeks here, I hope I can treasure this world without leaving any regrets or wishes behind.

big feelings. I think I’m a little overwhelmed by the fact that it’s over soon. how lucky I’ve been, and how lucky I’ll be to have more treasure to miss. <<

beams

the beams are getting fixed, which means the courtyard now lives in the shadows of three storeys of scaffolding jungle. I’ve been climbing with Nic and Bipasha.

I’d quite like to put up some hammocks or swings. there’s a lot you could do with the structure. because of the rain, construction only seems to be happening every few days. with less than forty days left here, I should make the most of the tower while I can.

spending as much time as possible with the special people I’ve found here. soon to be a place of memory for me. <<

booked

the hostel has been booked, meaning we’ve committed to our return. I’m pinching myself, trying to remind myself that this is real. unsure how I’m meant to feel.

I guess it’s really happening now. we’ll see another bonfire soon. <<

ten days on the island

I went home for a little while. it was lovely spending time with my family in the place I grew up. we went out into the wilderness, where the air is very cold and not breathed by many people. pretty far from anything you’d see in Sydney.

I was lucky to spend time with some of the people that mean a lot to me. living in two different places often leads me to forget how just how fortunate I am to have found such a range of precious people. they’re missed when I can’t be with them, though I’m grateful to have seen some of them over these past ten days.

once more I find myself waiting to board another plane. I’ll be in Sydney for a bit before flying away on another adventure. though my lack of purpose continues to force me to question what it is I’m looking for, I distract myself. stalling is something with which I’ve become very competent.

hoping to go gently in the coming months as best as I can. <<

my room

packing my bag for my trip home, I started the gradual move-out of my room - packing away clothes and various knick knacks I won’t be taking overseas. my Sydney room has been a little safe haven for me since August. I quite like that it’s known as the worst placed room in the co-operative, that it’s existence as an oasis is a well-kept secret between myself and my close friends.

I’ve taken photos for the sake of preserving my memory of the place: how my home looked during this strange chapter of my life.

excited to be heading home. the first time all three brothers will have been together in months. I’ll be seeing some very special people. time moves at a ridiculous pace, and I’m counting every blessing that comes my way. <<

Tony

we said goodbye to Tony. I was lucky to catch him on the phone before he went. supposedly he wasn’t responsive, but he chimed back in response to the jokes he and I used to share. he had a beautiful send-off. it was surreal to see all of my cousins crying. Carol looked an absolute dream in her black velvet gown. a whole church packed to farewell my father’s father.

I wish we’d spent more time together. we sat together at Easter lunch, and though I knew my time left with him was short, I regret not making more chances to be with him. he’s a great guy, and I love him very much. we’ve been so lucky to have him. <<