love never dies in memory

I relished the momentary freedom from reality - spending most of my time between Isaiah and Millie, theatre at night, cartoons in the morning, never left alone with my thoughts. 

Cadi had been driving along the coast - all the way from Taroona. we spent Saturday morning reflecting on our shared confusion with our own humanity by the stream on campus. she is a remarkable individual, and I leave every time our paths cross feeling understood and a little more fulfilled.

mum and dad and Millie and Nic and Isaiah all in one room for one night - closing night of Zi’s show. whisked away back to Sydney in no time the next morning. 36 degrees. I slept all afternoon and woke to an evening of television with my housemates. in the theatre every evening this week - twice for graphics on Aidan’s show, twice for rehearsals. I keep moving and try to look forward.

I try to avoid silence. when it comes I lean into something else - I find noise and I wrap it round myself like a pillow I don’t want to leave. I wish I were a kid again, though I wish I cared less and could just get over myself.

and there’s that line from the closing song. I think of it and my heart doesn’t know what to do. is it true? what does it even mean? is memory real? why does it always feel so far? I sleep without answers and wake up again. <<