Chelsea etc.

amidst the exploring, Nash and I have been reminiscing. together we watched the footage we took for a minute on each day of our final month in Lewes. the voices sound familiar, though the characters look younger and naive - completely unjaded by years of disconnect and growing distance. watching the clips was a surreal experience - everything onscreen felt familiar, despite the time that continues to wedge deeper gaps between the present and that world we used to love.

thinking ahead, it’s scary to realise we’re returning so soon. in a little over two months I’ll be walking my way down High Street, retracing the steps of the version of me that lived in that world. I’ve dreamt of being there with the friends I still miss so much, though I remind myself that what we once enjoyed can never be truly revisited. there will be ghosts and I need to be ready to face them. I see how lucky I am to have found this space and time to give to unpacking something so important to me. I’ll try not to take any of this for granted.

some say the Chelsea Hotel is haunted. I quite like the look of it. no doubt there’s many stories hidden within the corridors and bedrooms. perhaps there’s ghosts there. perhaps it’s someone’s Lewes. it’s a pretty grand hotel.

sleeping better now - jet lag lessening. finding goodness in every day, and enjoying the liberation of free time to explore. <<

New York

chaotic and confusing and a curious mess of cultures and constant consumption. I’m overwhelmed and kept on my toes whilst very happy to be here.

Central Park - a surprisingly peaceful oasis in the very heart of the chaos that is Manhattan.

the Guggenheim - a visual marvel that photos could not possibly hope to do justice, the building itself as impressive (if not more impressive than) the art within.

Grand Central Station - enhanced by Peyton’s fun facts about the history and architecture of the place, and seeing the clock that the giraffe from Madagascar gets his head caught in.

I’m so far from home and in the midst of missing my friends am aware of how lucky I am to be here. each new day brings discoveries and fresh intrigue. I can’t believe I’m here. <<

MoMA

started my time in New York with my first gallery of the trip - the museum of modern art. entering without expectations or any prior knowledge, I was stunned by the range of work I recognised throughout the galleries within. like the city itself, the gallery was overwhelming - so many pieces I’d studied and gazed at through computer screens years ago now right in front of me, sitting side by side.

Warhol.

Magritte.

Picasso (one of many).

Kahlo.

Cezanne.

Klimt.

Van Gogh (thought of my brother Josh here, knowing his love for this gorgeous night sky).

I had a real moment walking into this one. Dali, ‘the persistence of memory’. this is the first work of art that left a lasting impression on me. looking back I believe it was this painting that first drove me to experiment with drawing. in a way, Dali’s painting of the melting clocks inspired my passion for creating art. it felt surreal to stand before the original piece - a small frame upon an otherwise empty wall. precious.

a new favourite, ‘and then we saw the daughter of the minotaur’ by Leonara Carrington. there’s a real magic captured here - whimsical, uneasy fantasy of the likes of Burton and the old fairy tales.

a great day in the big city. I would have loved to show my grandma through the gallery. I hope I can show her my photos when I return. how lucky am I to be where I am. <<

Nash

it’s surreal to be here. Nash collected me from the airport yesterday, and we commuted straight back to his apartment in Brooklyn. occupying the same physical space as my dear friend after three years apart is phenomenal. his world here is beautiful - a charming slice of peace amidst the chaos of the metropolis.

time has done only good things for our friendship. I’ve missed him so much, and I am so lucky to be seeing his word before we venture back to the one that we still miss. I woke to pancakes made and my empty glass filled beside my bed on the couch this morning. I do not deserve such kindness, but I am ecstatic to be here.

exploring New York for the next episode. blessed to be in the company I have missed. <<

Chicago

bus from Iowa City into Chicago listening to Illinois and Simon & Garfunkel, passing through Music Man deepcuts (Davenport, Rock Island) along the way.

the city is huge and a world away from Iowa. it’s nice to be here briefly, with only a night to be left stunned by the size of the skyscrapers.

a little like a dress rehearsal for New York. milkshakes are ridiculously thick here, though I won’t complain. free breakfast at the hostel in the morning before commuting out to O’Hare.

the first leg of the adventure has treated me well - and I have been so lucky to be in such precious and generous company. and so we move: all things go, all things go. <<

iowa city

my first musical was set here. it’s pretty and calm and very warm. the people are friendly and the neighbourhoods are charming. I’m tired but I’m relishing the change of scenery.

fossil lake, with remnants of plants and fish in stone from 400 million years ago. impossible to truly comprehend. nice to look at.

could be norway. could be england.

I thought this was funny at the time…

most houses here look fake, I’ll be sure to steal some more snaps for you before I leave.

cooked a very disappointing pasta last night. here’s to good company and better meals in the coming months. <<

ants from up there

it looks like a puzzle and I’m quite impressed. one flight to go before bed. it’s still Thursday here - making today the longest day of my life so far. time travel is wild. <<

LAX

it’s either an airport with a nonsensical design or I am very tired. sleep was brief on the flight, but the worst is behind us - two shorter flights to go. the clouds were pretty on our descent this morning. I’m on the move again, and it feels surreal. <<

I know the end

a big week. hugs and tears and dancing. breakfast with Francesca. Bernice dropped by for a goodbye lunch, Blake cut my hair. Gryffyn threw me a surprise fareqell party on the roof, Jenae bought me a cake and Mia and Callum made me one. we closed the party with ‘I know the end’, which I belted with Mia. we made everybody scream with Phoebe.

more hugs and more tears. Jeff and Cara dropped us at the airport. hugs from Mia, Mitch, Bip and Callum at security gates. and then it’s all over. my chapter at stucco has come and gone. I don’t quite know how to feel. in a moment i’ll be boarding my first flight away. a new chapter begins, and though I know just how lucky I am, I cry for what I’m leaving behind.

but I remember where I’ve been regardless of where I go. and I remember what Sam wrote for me on that closing night of timepieces - nothing is ever truly lost: you can always find me with one foot in the stream.

and so we go. <<

midsommar coven

it’s all a blur right now, but just so I won’t forget: tonight I hosted one last potluck before leaving stucco. Blake and I decorated the hall with flowers and candles, and we hosted a feast accompanied by our favourite witchy music. the turnout was phenomenal, with everyone bringing food and writing their fears on the wings of the cranes I’ve folded during my time here. Mitch played Truman Sleeps for us on the piano, and I cried. we burnt our fears in the courtyard, everyone around throwing a handful of cranes into the fire. a golden evening I won’t let myself forget. how lucky I have been <<

the lamentable tragedy of Titus Andronicus

the season has been a blast. being back onstage is surreal, and having the good fortune of working with such a talented and consistently generous group of people is a real blessing. I couldn’t ask for a better sendoff from my time studying in Sydney.

Millie flew up to see the show. it was really special having the chance to introduce her to my world up here and the characters I call friends. she enjoyed the show, and I had a blast laughing with her. Eliza and her parents also flew all the way up from Tassie to watch me perform. I have been so lucky, and am surrounded by such kind people.

some photos from the show - I am having too much fun. from here we have one more show, starting in just three hours. last night’s audience lifted our performance to the best it’s been so far. I was buzzing like I haven’t been in years. I’m excited for tonight - Isaiah has come up from Canberra, and half of stucco is coming along. I don’t know what I did to deserve such supportive friends.

five sleeps until I leave. I’ve written letters to my housemates, and am trying to spend as much time as possible with my friends here. enjoyed a very sweet sleepover with Bip and Nic last night. breakfast with Jenae the other day, coffee wirh Gryffyn. counting every blessing I still have. <<

back onstage

three shows in, it’s a dream. I’ve missed these feelings so very much. how lucky am I to be back after so long?

it’s a happy feeling to be playing someone else again. surrounded by wonderful people, supported by friends from all over. cherishing these weeks, a priceless gift. <<

August 2nd

one year ago today I left home for a new adventure. it’s coming to a close quite soon, and I’m in a funny place about saying goodbye. on this day last year I never could have imagined just how much this would all mean to me. I knew nobody. Callum still remembers the day I arrived. Once strangers, many of the people I’ve found here have become dear friends. I’m once more left stunned by where my cluelessness takes me, and the good fortune I find in the friends discover on my journey.

I had no idea what was lying ahead for me when I sat on a nearly empty flight to Sydney. I was moving into a city in lockdown, with a house full of strangers I knew very little about. in doing so, I’d left a job and whole world behind.

this year has flown, and I can’t quite believe it’s been such a long time since I first set foot in stucco and called this chaos my home. a little over two weeks til departure. it’s absurd. <<

quarantine

I found it strange how inconveniences can do often transfigure into rare opportunities for joys I wouldn’t otherwise know. quarantining with Francesca, Hanna and Georgia has been a real gift.

I’ve been forced to stop and take things one day at a time. chipping away at tasks little by little. spending time hovelled up in Francesca’s room each night. it’s been a nice routine, and, now left with just one day left, I realise I’ve been beyond lucky for it to turn out this way.

had we not quarantined at the same time, I doubt I’d ever have spent these precious evenings, and enjoy yet another reminder of the fact that there will always be new joys to relish around every corner regardless of where life is taking me.

a fortunate soul. goodbye is going to be hard. I’ll try to focus instead on thank you. <<