I spend more time commuting to and from
work than with friends these days. it’s a strange way to be living, and everyone seems to be on board with it. the thought of continuing this way forever upsets me. I count the good things. how lucky I am to have work, a safe place to sleep at night, food in my fridge, a fridge in the first place.
Anje reminds me to be on the lookout. there are good things hiding in plain sight. I try to remember to notice them and appreciate what I witness as it passes.
the house is cold, it’s warmer outside most of the time. if I make the time, on my Wednesday afternoons I try to read in the park, savouring the afternoon rays. I gravitate to the periphery of the lawn as the shadows of the trees loom closer. they always win as the sun dies. so it goes.
I feel small and insignificant and this is a good thing. in these feelings I try to find comfort in the midst of not knowing who I am or why I’m here. I lean on loved ones and relish their embrace and think of those too far for me to reach.
I wore my mood rings yesterday. their colours hardly changed, I guess they’re broken. maybe the cold is too harsh for them this winter. maybe they’re just exhausted. it shouldn’t really matter. <<
