patches of green in the shade

the map expands. I run on the path up the creek into a lake that belongs on a postcard. there’s a playground on the other side with a tower I’d like to climb. I imagine racing you to the top under a full moon. the afternoon sun is warm enough but gentle through the trees. I follow the stream by the path through nature strips and unfamiliar cul-de-sacs. pass benches and patches of green in the shade by the creek where I can see myself wasting time with you. photos can’t quite capture the vision. I wish I could show you.

they bomb another hospital and I watch HBO. the death tolls rise and I can check out when I like. I turn away to friends applauding my boundaries. wash my face and apathy into the bathroom sink. say ‘I’ll do more tomorrow’ and lie to the mirror again.