what I’d give to retreat from my sad confusion into the home I’d found in the company of these treasured friends. it’s a year now since they shaved my head, an attempt to help me start over. the confusion and bewilderment is different now, though more lonely so far from their laughter and hugs. I miss them every single day, and I can’t even move past how lucky I was to find them and share in their lives. will I forever wish for our shared world again? will I ever understand the hopeless longing I face each night, for what we found in our village, their constant company, that joy? will I ever understand the ruthlessness of time? I’m learning some questions have no answers. it’s a process to come to terms with this understanding, and I try to go gently. forever hoping for more sense with each new day. << x
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